You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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