Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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