Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize