Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
