I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
