You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
