The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
