I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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