You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize