The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.