I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
