I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
