We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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