Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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