Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
