Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
