Kiss
Puke
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
