apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
