When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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