By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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