margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
