How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
