he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
