I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
