Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
