all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
