then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
