windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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