and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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