Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
