Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
