You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
