oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
