I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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