FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
