just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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