I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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