What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
