Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
