it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
