pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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