Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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