just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
