Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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