there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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