maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
