fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
