I'm really into asian looking animals
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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