In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize