i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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