he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I want is dick and wine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
