so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
