a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize