The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
