Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize