It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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