I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
