I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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