Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
